Silence is not a shield.

In today’s article, I’m reflecting on the trial at the Geneva Labor Court in 2019—an experience that marked a turning point and ultimately led to the creation of Rezalliance in 2020. Based in Geneva, Switzerland, Rezalliance is an NGO that brings together a network of multidisciplinary experts to offer confidential support, tailored advice, and customized services for both organizations and individuals dealing with workplace harassment in all its forms.

Your silence will not protect you – Audre Lorde

These other words from Audre Lorde resonated deeply as I waited in silence to be heard during the trial against my former employer in 2019.

The four-hour hearing as a plaintiff was not just a legal procedure, it was the moment my silenced pain found its voice.

For years, I had carried the weight of isolation and despair in the face of repeated, deliberate attempts to destabilize me.

Some examples : the comments about my clothing and hair were never mere observations. They were deliberate attempts to erase my worth as both a human being and a competent professional, reducing me to nothing more than my appearance and visible differences. Then came the condescending remarks. I still remember my line manager from the UK who praised my command of Shakespeare’s language “for an African,” feigning a compliment, yet it felt more like an insult than anything flattering. And another manager who once told me, “You need to learn to stay in your place,” as if he were speaking to his dog (he had two). I still wonder what “place” he thought I was meant to occupy.

Looking back, I now understand the true intent behind these verbal attacks. It was an effort to stifle my potential, undermine my expertise, and diminish my achievements. Since they couldn’t fault my work—which consistently exceeded expectations—they had to find something else. This was no accident—these actions were fueled by fear, jealousy, deep-seated insecurities, and yes, racism. Those who perpetuated this toxic environment—the colleagues who had been attacking me individually—banded together, acting as a pack, emboldened by the flaws in the governance system.

I remembered a few colleagues who once told me that I should resign because the employer would never defend me—even though everyone knew my line manager was bullying me. It was early in my time at the organization; I should have taken their advice.

#MeToo is a movement, not a moment – Tarana Burke

Tarana Burke, an American activist known for launching the #MeToo movement in 2007, brought attention to sexual violence, particularly against marginalized communities.

I, too, have endured sexual harassment in several companies throughout my career, but nothing compares to what I experienced in that company. That is why #MeToo is something I have come to understand all too well.

It was within this environment of sustained sexist attitudes, sexual advances, humiliations, smear campaigns, blackmail, and threats that I began to truly understand the power behind those words. Harassment wasn’t an isolated event—it was a systemic, misogynoir (the intersection of sexism and racism), a relentless force designed to break me down.

Picture this.

You bring up the inappropriate “compliments” from a male colleague to your female coworkers, and they brush it off, telling you that at least you get compliments (so much for sorority…).
A colleague ordering you to sit on his lap in front of 25 people, including your direct and senior managers, who laugh along.
Another colleague (married) telling you he’ll never introduce you to any other man if he can’t have you himself.
Your line manager, knowing you’re on sick leave, still takes the time to send you messages via LinkedIn, attempting to continue the manipulation after you’ve gone no contact.

Sexual harassment, evident in the inappropriate insinuations of certain men and the snide laughter of onlookers—including managers—added to the toxicity of an environment where I was not equipped to recognize the early warning signs of what would become a relentless fight for my survival. I endured this reality without a shred of support from the HR department, which was well aware of the situation yet actively participated in an even more violent form of harassment, using tactics reminiscent of the KGB.

Imagine the scene…

A meeting room inside your employer’s building—but one you didn’t even know existed. A room that cannot be booked through the reservation tool. A room isolated from all others. A secret room.
You are subjected to a six-hour interrogation led by a former KGB agent in this windowless room.
Why? Because a female colleague—who reports to you (an important detail)—has filed a complaint, accusing you, her manager, of “speaking to her poorly.”

So, this is how your employer chose to handle this type of accusation, despite the fact that you have already provided clear evidence that your colleague was lying.

After six long hours of relentless questioning, you leave the room completely disoriented—so much so that you drive home in the dark without turning on your headlights. It’s 9 PM, in the middle of winter. Only when you pull into the parking space and turn on your headlights do you realize why other drivers had been flashing theirs at you throughout the entire drive from the office to your place.

In the days that follow, you barely eat or drink—but worse, you don’t sleep. Not for five days.

And that’s when you break. The ultimate attempt to destroy you has succeeded. Your doctor forces you into medical leave and strictly forbids you from ever stepping foot in that company again.

For two years, you become agoraphobic. (Remember the windowless room…).

And years later, you learn that sleep deprivation is one of the most widely used forms of torture and that it can drive people insane.

One might think this scene was taken from a movie script.

But no, this was my reality. The story I finally set free during the trial against my former employer—the story that ultimately gave birth to Rezalliance, Rez-Care.com and to the International day against harassment and for inclusion in the world of work.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you – Maya Angelou

Despite my lawyers’ concerns for my already fragile health, I insisted on attending all eight hearings of this trial. It was one of the most brutal experiences of my life, forcing me to relive every moment of humiliation and degradation in front of strangers—judges who completely lacked empathy, laughed and joked with the employer’s lawyer, and one even slept during my testimony… Did I mention that the judicial system is not kind to victims ?

But I wanted to face every person involved in my harassment, to witness their lies and manipulations unravel as they attempted to paint me as the aggressor—a classic tactic in harassment cases, where perpetrators will go to any lengths to deny the facts, even in the face of written evidence. They minimize, then shift the blame, in an effort to justify their actions and make the victim bear the weight of the violence inflicted upon them. This manipulation has a name: DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender).

It is impossible to conceal one’s vulnerability or suppress frustration in the face of blatant lies and shameless dishonesty. Yet, this ordeal also marked the end of my suffering. In that courtroom, I was no longer a victim—I was defending my integrity, my rights, my very existence. A life that matters just as much as anyone else’s. No more, no less.

When I walked out of that trial, the clouds lifted, and a new path emerged—the path to reclaiming my voice. Guy Corneau, the late Canadian psychoanalyst, was right when he said, “When we put words to our wounds, those wounds become spoken words and cease to be cursed.”

By speaking my truth, I shed the weight of shame that had kept me trapped in depression.

As someone once said, “Trauma not transformed is trauma transferred.” I will dive deeper into this in a future article. Stay tuned.

Thank you for reading. I look forward to reading your thoughts and stories.

Yours sincerely,

Joëlle Payom

Founder, Rezalliance

📚 If you’re interested in learning more about the key topics covered in this articles, here’s some interesting content:

A recent post I published about the mechanisms of workplace control
An article that explains how I transformed the experience of that interrogation into the development of an investigation methodology grounded in empathy with a list of best and worst practices for harassment investigations.

Audre Lorde: Your silence will not protect you.

Tarana Burke