{"id":1517,"date":"2025-02-01T11:46:48","date_gmt":"2025-02-01T10:46:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joellepayom.com\/en\/?p=1517"},"modified":"2026-02-10T19:34:26","modified_gmt":"2026-02-10T18:34:26","slug":"silence-is-not-a-shield","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joellepayom.com\/en\/2025\/02\/01\/silence-is-not-a-shield\/","title":{"rendered":"Silence is not a shield."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In today&#8217;s article, I\u2019m reflecting on the trial at the Geneva Labor Court in 2019\u2014an experience that marked a turning point and ultimately led to the creation of Rezalliance in 2020. Based in Geneva, Switzerland, Rezalliance is an NGO that brings together a network of multidisciplinary experts to offer confidential support, tailored advice, and customized services for both organizations and individuals dealing with workplace harassment in all its forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Your silence will not protect you &#8211; Audre Lorde<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1073\">These other words from Audre Lorde resonated deeply as I waited in silence to be heard during the trial against my former employer in 2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1074\">The four-hour hearing as a plaintiff was not just a legal procedure, it was the moment my silenced pain found its voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1075\">For years, I had carried the weight of isolation and despair in the face of repeated, deliberate attempts to destabilize me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1076\">Some examples : the comments about my clothing and hair were never mere observations. They were deliberate attempts to erase my worth as both a human being and a competent professional, reducing me to nothing more than my appearance and visible differences. Then came the condescending remarks. I still remember my line manager from the UK who praised my command of Shakespeare\u2019s language &#8220;<em>for an African<\/em>,&#8221; feigning a compliment, yet it felt more like an insult than anything flattering. And another manager who once told me, &#8220;<em>You need to learn to stay in your place<\/em>,&#8221; as if he were speaking to his dog (he had two). I still wonder what &#8220;place&#8221; he thought I was meant to occupy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1077\">Looking back, I now understand the true intent behind these verbal attacks. It was an effort to stifle my potential, undermine my expertise, and diminish my achievements. Since they couldn\u2019t fault my work\u2014which consistently exceeded expectations\u2014they had to find something else. This was no accident\u2014these actions were fueled by <strong>fear, jealousy, deep-seated insecurities, and yes, racism<\/strong>. Those who perpetuated this toxic environment\u2014the colleagues who had been attacking me individually\u2014banded together, acting as a pack, emboldened by the <strong>flaws in the governance system.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1078\">I remembered a few colleagues who once told me that I should resign because the employer would never defend me\u2014even though everyone knew my line manager was bullying me. It was early in my time at the organization; I should have taken their advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">#MeToo is a movement, not a moment \u2013 Tarana Burke<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1080\">Tarana Burke, an American activist known for launching the #MeToo movement in 2007, brought attention to sexual violence, particularly against marginalized communities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1081\">I, too, have endured sexual harassment in several companies throughout my career, but nothing compares to what I experienced in that company. That is why #MeToo is something I have come to understand all too well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1082\">It was within this environment of <strong>sustained sexist attitudes, sexual advances, humiliations, smear campaigns, blackmail, and threats<\/strong> that I began to truly understand the power behind those words. Harassment wasn\u2019t an isolated event\u2014it was a systemic, <strong>misogynoir<\/strong> (the intersection of sexism and racism), a relentless force designed to break me down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"ember1083\">Picture this.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>You bring up the inappropriate \u201ccompliments\u201d from a male colleague to your female coworkers, and they brush it off, telling you that at least you get compliments (so much for sorority\u2026).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A colleague ordering you to sit on his lap in front of 25 people, including your direct and senior managers, who laugh along.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Another colleague (married) telling you he\u2019ll never introduce you to any other man if he can\u2019t have you himself.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Your line manager, knowing you\u2019re on sick leave, still takes the time to send you messages via LinkedIn, attempting to continue the manipulation after you&#8217;ve gone no contact.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1085\">Sexual harassment, evident in the inappropriate insinuations of certain men and the snide laughter of onlookers\u2014including managers\u2014added to the toxicity of <strong>an environment where I was not equipped to recognize the early warning signs<\/strong> of what would become a relentless fight for my survival. I endured this reality without a shred of support from the HR department, which was well aware of the situation yet actively participated in an even more violent form of harassment, using tactics reminiscent of the KGB.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"ember1086\">Imagine the scene&#8230;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>A meeting room inside your employer\u2019s building\u2014but one you didn\u2019t even know existed. A room that cannot be booked through the reservation tool. A room isolated from all others. A secret room.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You are subjected to a six-hour interrogation led by a former KGB agent in this <\/strong><strong><em>windowless room<\/em><\/strong><strong>.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Why? Because a female colleague\u2014who reports to you (an important detail)\u2014has filed a complaint, accusing you, her manager, of &#8220;speaking to her poorly.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1088\">So, this is how your employer chose to handle this type of accusation, despite the fact that you have already provided clear evidence that your colleague was lying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1089\">After <strong>six long hours of relentless questioning<\/strong>, you leave the room completely disoriented\u2014so much so that you drive home in the dark without turning on your headlights. It\u2019s 9 PM, in the middle of winter. Only when you pull into the parking space and turn on your headlights do you realize why other drivers had been flashing theirs at you throughout the entire drive from the office to your place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1090\">In the days that follow, you barely eat or drink\u2014but worse,<strong> you don\u2019t sleep. <\/strong>Not for five days.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1091\">And that\u2019s when you break. The ultimate attempt to destroy you has succeeded. <strong>Your doctor forces you into medical leave<\/strong> and strictly forbids you from ever stepping foot in that company again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1092\">For two years, you become agoraphobic. (Remember the<strong> windowless room<\/strong>&#8230;).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1093\">And years later, you learn that sleep deprivation is one of the most widely used forms of torture and that it can drive people insane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"800\" src=\"https:\/\/joellepayom.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/02\/Investigation-workplace-harassment_Rezalliance.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1518\" srcset=\"https:\/\/joellepayom.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/02\/Investigation-workplace-harassment_Rezalliance.png 800w, https:\/\/joellepayom.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/02\/Investigation-workplace-harassment_Rezalliance-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/joellepayom.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/02\/Investigation-workplace-harassment_Rezalliance-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/joellepayom.com\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/02\/Investigation-workplace-harassment_Rezalliance-768x768.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1096\">One might think this scene was taken from a movie script.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1097\">But no, this was my reality. The story I finally set free during the trial against my former employer\u2014the story that ultimately gave birth to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.rezalliance.com\/\">Rezalliance<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/rez-care.com\/\">Rez-Care.com<\/a> and to the <a href=\"https:\/\/24may.org\/en\/\">International day against harassment and for inclusion in the world of work<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"ember1098\">There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you &#8211; Maya Angelou<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1099\">Despite my lawyers&#8217; concerns for my already fragile health, I insisted on attending all eight hearings of this trial. It was one of the most brutal experiences of my life, forcing me to relive every moment of humiliation and degradation in front of strangers\u2014judges who completely lacked empathy, laughed and joked with the employer\u2019s lawyer, and one even slept during my testimony&#8230; Did I mention that the judicial system is not kind to victims ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1100\">But I wanted to face every person involved in my harassment, to witness their lies and manipulations unravel as they attempted to paint me as the aggressor\u2014a classic tactic in harassment cases, where <strong>perpetrators will go to any lengths to deny the facts<\/strong>, even in the face of written evidence. They minimize, then shift the blame, in an effort to justify their actions and <strong>make the victim bear the weight of the violence inflicted upon them<\/strong>. This manipulation has a name: <strong>DARVO <\/strong>(Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1101\">It is impossible to conceal one&#8217;s vulnerability or suppress frustration in the face of blatant lies and shameless dishonesty. <strong>Yet, this ordeal also marked the end of my suffering<\/strong>. In that courtroom, <strong>I was no longer a victim<\/strong>\u2014I was defending my integrity, my rights, my very existence. <strong>A life that matters just as much as anyone else&#8217;s<\/strong>. No more, no less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1102\">When I walked out of that trial, the clouds lifted, and a new path emerged\u2014the path to reclaiming my voice. Guy Corneau, the late Canadian psychoanalyst, was right when he said, &#8220;<em>When we put words to our wounds, those wounds become spoken words and cease to be cursed<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1103\">By speaking my truth, <strong>I shed the weight of shame that had kept me trapped in depression<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1104\">As someone once said, &#8220;<em>Trauma not transformed is trauma transferred<\/em>.&#8221; I will dive deeper into this in a future article. Stay tuned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1105\">Thank you for reading. I look forward to reading your thoughts and stories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1106\">Yours sincerely,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1107\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.joellepayom.com\/\">Jo\u00eblle Payom<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1108\">Founder, <a href=\"https:\/\/rezalliance.com\/en\/\">Rezalliance<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1109\">\ud83d\udcda If you&#8217;re interested in learning more about the key topics covered in this articles, here\u2019s some interesting content:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>A recent post I published about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/posts\/joelle-payom_platformrezcare-activity-7290662574541479936-DzCn?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=member_desktop\">the mechanisms of workplace control<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>An article that explains how I transformed the experience of that interrogation into the development of an investigation methodology grounded in empathy with a list of <a href=\"https:\/\/rez-care.com\/fr\/enquete-pour-harcelement-au-travail-a-faire-et-a-eviter-a-tout-prix\/\">best and worst practices for harassment investigations.<\/a><br><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Audre Lorde<\/strong>: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shsoutherner.net\/blogs\/73daysletters\/2016\/12\/10\/your-silence-will-not-protect-you-healing-with-audre-lorde\/#:~:text=This%20is%20an%20excerpt%20of,silences%20had%20not%20protected%20me.\">Your silence will not protect you.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Tarana Burke<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Website : <a href=\"https:\/\/metoomvmt.org\/get-to-know-us\/tarana-burke-founder\/\">Metoo<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ted Talk <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ted.com\/talks\/tarana_burke_me_too_is_a_movement_not_a_moment\">&#8220;Metoo is a movement, not a moment&#8221;<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1111\"><strong>Understanding DARVO<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Medical News Today<\/strong>: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.medicalnewstoday.com\/articles\/what-is-darvo?utm_source=chatgpt.com#what-is-darvo\">An article explaining DARVO as a tactic used by perpetrators to deflect responsibility onto an individual they have abused.<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Jennifer Joy Freyd, PhD<\/strong>: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.jjfreyd.com\/darvo?utm_source=chatgpt.com\">A detailed explanation of DARVO, including its definition and effects on mental health.<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1113\"><strong>Sleep Deprivation as Torture<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>American Medical Association Journal of Ethics<\/strong>: <a href=\"https:\/\/journalofethics.ama-assn.org\/article\/sleep-human-right-and-its-deprivation-torture\/2024-10?utm_source=chatgpt.com\">An exploration of sleep deprivation as a form of torture, discussing its physiological and psychological consequences.<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Optalert<\/strong>: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.optalert.com\/sleep-deprivation-as-a-form-of-torture\/?utm_source=chatgpt.com\">An article detailing how sleep deprivation was used as a form of torture during interrogations, including historical context.<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ember1115\"><strong>About Misogynoir<\/strong>: <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Misogynoir\">https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Misogynoir<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Tarana Burke<\/strong> &#8211; Ted talk <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ted.com\/talks\/tarana_burke_me_too_is_a_movement_not_a_moment\">&#8220;Metoo is a movement, not a moment&#8221; <\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In today&#8217;s article, I\u2019m reflecting on the trial at the Geneva Labor Court in 2019\u2014an experience that marked a turning point and ultimately led to the creation of Rezalliance in 2020. Based in Geneva, Switzerland, Rezalliance is an NGO that brings together a network of multidisciplinary experts to offer confidential support, tailored advice, and customized services for both organizations and individuals dealing with workplace harassment in all its forms.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":1528,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1517","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-non-classe"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Silence is not a shield. - Jo\u00eblle Payom - EN<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/joellepayom.com\/en\/2025\/02\/01\/silence-is-not-a-shield\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Silence is not a shield. - Jo\u00eblle Payom - EN\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In today&#039;s article, I\u2019m reflecting on the trial at the Geneva Labor Court in 2019\u2014an experience that marked a turning point and ultimately led to the creation of Rezalliance in 2020. 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